Wedding planning has been underway for fifteen months, so I am compelled to dispense something that resembles advice to people who are currently planning or plan to plan a wedding.  I began with a list of practical applications to the process, such as “create a wedding binder” and “delegate”.  When I let my fingers wander over the keyboard to explore the topics, the logistics took a back seat to a MEB revelation.

One of the first items on my checklist was Get in Wedding Day Shape. I’ve taken this to-do as an opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream in which my arm muscles look like they are flexing even when they are not flexing. Soon, I will be able to do one full pull up. I’m not talking about a chin-up. Lance Armstrong does chin-ups. Champions who don’t cheat do pull ups.

If you can take your eyes off my bulging biceps for a second, your attention will be drawn to my new and improved possession: My face. I did not get a chin implant or Rhinoplasty so that I could check off Making a Beauty Plan. Instead, I have been religiously using Rodan + Fields to reveal the.best.skin.of.my.life and will feel like a confident, beautiful bride.

As you can tell, I have been dutifully following this checklist from Real Simple magazine. When I turned the page to the list of photos we needed to take, I got Real Pissed. Oh, what a simple-minded magazine you are, with no divorced parents or bickering friends. I should have subscribed to Real Complicated magazine with a list of photos that our families would actually want to put on their mantel.

Here comes the revelation part: Wedding planning has put my life under a microscope and under that glass there is nowhere to hide. This is my family. This is what I look like. Sometimes, that view is raw and painful. Other times, what I see makes me feel empowered and healed. A wedding amplifies insecurities and emotions. What am I going to do when everyone we love is in the same room, projecting all of their loveliness towards us? I will cry. Then, I will dance to distract myself from crying. I will be less of a “bride” and more of myself and forget about the magnifying glass.

After the wedding, we will ride off into the sunset  find new a house project. All the things that have been neglected will suddenly slap me in the face i.e. the bathroom door not shutting all the way. This might seem super essential when you want to go pee at our house, but I have centerpieces and place cards to think about.

Has wedding planning or another important event put you and your life under a microscope? Share your experience with a comment.