I’m going to write for twenty minutes and I am going to stop. WordPress told me that I need to publish this mess after I write it and, instantly, I am petrified. I do not write a blog post in a few minutes or a few hours. The process of writing goes on for days or even months for me. I have “draft” blog posts in my queue from years ago. I could go back and work on them if I am so inspired. So I am asked to unlock the mind and just write.
A surprising winter sun has made an appearance today and I’m adjusting my line of sight towards the computer so that I can see the words on the page. Sometimes, I move my head behind the failing Christmas tree (Christmas was about a week ago now) to block the suns glare. I know the sunlight is good for me because I have been reading about sunlight (or lack there of) in the winter time. A key component of the mind and body feeling refreshed is a naturally produced chemical in the body called Melanin. Sunlight helps produce that chemical. So I’d like to be in the sunlight but I don’t necessarily want it directly in my eyeballs. When I move my head far back enough to remove the sun from my eyes, my messy bun hits a Christmas wreath that is hung up on the wall. Again, Christmas was about a week ago now. I am still enjoying the smell of the Christmas tree and the decorations. Even if the “magic” has dissipated because there are no presents under the tree and no anticipation of what’s to come. Mack sits in the front window (as usual), monitoring the neighborhood. His ears constantly readjusting toward whatever sound he hears that I do not. My thoughts turn to the New Year. It is New Year’s Eve after all. The party tonight and what’s to come over the course of the next year. The things that will be accomplished loom over my head. The idea of a new year’s resolution rolls about in my head quite often. I commit to things when I am in a good space at time. I’m not sure I can force myself to commit because the calendar is turning over. I ran that half marathon and realized I could do whatever I set my mind to. So I start to draw. That was in September. I felt more creativity pouring out of me and with a few free hours, I ended up picking up the piano too. That was December. I add things to my plate when intuition or necessity draws me there. I’m going back and forth between Drinking 64 Ounces of Water Per Day and Writing More Blog Posts. I could drink more water. It’s the blog posts that I’m afraid of. There is evidence of success or failure in a published blog post. When I’m sketching or playing, the only one what knows that I’m doing is me (or maybe Eric) and I know I’ve accomplished my goal when 30 minutes are up. A blog post is tangible evidence that I’ve done what I’ve set out to do. Today, I will attempt one full pull up. The last attempt of 2014. I think I can do it. I have to move to the couch. The sun continues to get into my eyes even when I move my head back now. Mack has left his post at the front window. [Writing pause.] I spent the last few minutes reading over what I’ve written instead of writing more. Broke the rules there. Sorry, WordPress. End of twenty minutes. End of post.