Garden Guardian


Emerald soldier feels like home, squatting before fresh foliage, anticipating the pop of Asiatic lilies.



yes i have some worries, anxieties and fears starting with the dark and strangers with slow walks – am i lonely or just alone – will i have enough time – she’s going to say this and then i’ll say that who am i kidding neither one of us will say anything let me think about that again – that noise sounded creepy – my shoulders are tight – where will i go from here – i feel a bit sick – what if so-and-so dies – did i feed the dog – what is he thinking – i’m wasting my time – do i drink too much read too much work out too much eat too much ugh i do not clean enough – i hope he’ll be home soon he hasn’t called – that ice is going to freeze around the gutter – the garage door might not go up – will the sage bush survive this summer – help me remember this moment – stop waiting around get off the couch – ah i forgot to do that today i feel tired i will do it tomorrow i really should do it today no i’ll do it tomorrow – i’ve worn this outfit already what will she think – who cares stop caring – this looks just fine – worries anxieties and fears i have a few more but will head for the door.

What are some of your worries, anxieties and fears?


Breakfast for Dinner

My car groans as I turn into an empty and winding drive-through around 8:30 on a Wednesday night. An amiable, male voice filters through the speaker.
“Welcome to Starbucks. How may I help you?”
“Can I have one Sausage Breakfast Sandwich, please?”
“Let me check if we have any left.”
I wait some seconds, considering my coffee order. The speaker clicks.
“Do you want one or do you want nine? We have nine sandwiches left. You can have them all.”

His playful question with a serious tone made me laugh with my dorkiest of laughs. Mouth open, teeth showing, nose scrunched kind of dorkiness. A regularly programmed thought snapped to attention: He is funny slash nice. I wonder what he looks like. I hope he heard a smile as I lean towards the speaker.

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An Open Letter To All the Songs

Dear Songs,

Forget the Grammy’s. You are now eligible for a superior accolade: being included on The Most Important Songs of Miss Early Bird’s Life. With so many contenders and so few spots, choosing a few of you has been an emotionally draining task. Before revealing the results and in hopes of sparing any hurt feelings or controversy among you, I’d like to provide background regarding the selection process for Songs.

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How to Change Your Name

Step One: Secure a Gmail account per your personal preference before it is scooped up by someone else and save your password as “thisisthenewme”. Complete those steps so far in advance that you will have no chance of remembering the credentials.

Step Two: Several months after the wedding go to the Social Security office and contemplate changing your first name too, when you notice how quickly and easily you can create a new name for yourself. “Miranda” has such a nice ring to it.

Step Three: Let new Social Security Card sit in a drawer while you tally up the other places you have to call or visit to finish this business and wonder if going to the Social Security office and asking for your old name back is permissible.

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